While working with a client recently, I was struck with a key reason that we keep ourselves stuck - we freak ourselves out about success!
My client, whom I'll call Angela (not her real name), realized that she was using chaos to keep from taking action in her business. "Without clutter and confusion, I won't have any excuses. I'd have to get 'out there" in a big way," she said.
That's the problem - we imagine that, if we alter our current situation, BIG scary change looms ahead. We fear that we will be lost in a new reality, not recognize ourselves, and not know what to do. The Subconscious Mind that controls 95% of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs says a great big "NO!" to almost any type of change. That's because your Subconscious Mind wants to keep the status quo so that you stay safe and survive.
Change is a constant challenge for your Subconscious Mind so let's look at how to think about change to make it easier.
In reality, on the other side of change, you are still there - working, living, and doing the basics of business - marketing, selling, delivering your services, meeting challenges, and solving problems. The idea that solving the problem in front of you - in Angela's case taming the chaos - will spin you into an unknown new reality is just untrue.
Let's look at how change happens.
Change starts with a decision that you are going to experience something different - instead of chaos Angela is choosing to take care of herself better, clear clutter, and progress in her business. This choice demands that Angela decide one thing to change for now - just one because that's all the Subconscious Mind can tolerate. Angela chooses to take 90 minutes every evening to reflect, journal, have a good meal, and take a break before diving back into her hectic schedule.
Angela might not make this change consistently at first. She may not give herself a break every evening.
Her behavior is feedback for her. If Angela avoids the pitfall of judging herself for not being perfect, this information will help her gain more self-knowledge and self-mastery. She can look at what's stopping her from giving herself time to reflect and nurture herself.
Angela can persist in repeating her chosen action until it becomes familiar. As she makes this change, her Subconscious Mind will no longer fear the change. What was unfamiliar now becomes habitual. Her persistence will create a breakthrough. New opportunities will open up to her. She can make more decisions that will lead to further breakthroughs. She'll enjoy a new relationship with herself, her business, and with change.
Here's how to negotiate change in a way that will make your Subconscious Mind more comfortable and willing to shift:
1. Choose a habit that you want to change and make a commitment to change it.
2. Decide on a small action that you can take every day that will help you develop your new habit.
3. Do your chosen action on a daily basis. If you miss a day, begin again the next day. Do NOT judge or call yourself names for missing a day. Start again.
4. Notice your resistance to the new action.
5. Observe what you are saying to yourself about taking the new action (you are likely saying that it won't work so why keep trying).
7. Keep taking your action consistently for 3 weeks.
- Is the action now familiar?
- What has changed for you?
- Will continuing to take your action benefit you and your business? If so, keep doing it. If not, choose something different.
- What other small action could you take for the next 3 weeks that will lead to a breakthrough?
Making a small change gives you new skills and a new perspective. As you take a small step, you will run into resistance and gather information. Keep taking action because incremental, step-by-step change isn't so scary.
Stop freaking yourself out by thinking you have to change "big time". Go for success one step at a time. Now it's your turn! Choose something "small" to change that you can do on a regular basis for the next 3 weeks. Write down the changes you made in a journal or notepad. In 3 weeks come back to your notes and describe the benefits these changes has made for you.
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