Do you find there are a few people that can "push your buttons" and make you feel angry, belittled, victimized or any other emotion that you dislike? Maybe it's your boss who ignores your contribution to the workplace, or a business assistant who is abrupt when you discuss a project with her, or a family member who criticizes you.
Regardless of who is doing the "button-pushing" the resulting feelings you harbor can have devastating consequences including damaged relationships, mistrust, poor productivity and more. Solving this situation is important if you want to have success with less stress, worry and headaches.
Your first inclination may be that the other person needs to change, but this is probably not possible. The only thing or person you have control over is you.
How can you take control and be empowered to feel better about any conversation with them? The following strategies will help you protect your emotional buttons when faced with a person who is trying to get a hold of them.
Remember what you want your life to look like. If you want to be known as an aggressive no-one-is-going-to-get-the-best-of-me person, then go ahead and let your anger fly. After you let your anger out in the face of the offender, how does this make you feel? There may be a little relief, but most people feel pretty bad. If you want a life of harmony, balance and fun then don't give your power away by letting your anger rage. Remembering what you want your life to be like can lead to clarifying conversations and/or assertive responses.
Have some compassion. Change your perspective about the other person from one of "He is horrible" to "Gee, he must be having a bad day, or he just doesn't know how to communicate properly." Looking at him differently replaces your feelings of anger and victim with those of compassion, understanding and gentleness. Which ones will make you more happy and productive?
Change your energy. Do something to shift your icky feelings to those that feel better. Get into nature, take some deep breaths, take a walk, drink some water or read something inspiring. You cannot have bad feelings and good feelings at the same time - choose the good.
Dump the relationship. If the button-pusher continues it may be time to seriously consider dumping the relationship - find a new job, get a new assistant or leave an abusive relationship. Only you can decide the essence of your career, business and your life. The choice is yours.
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