"There is no education like adversity." - Benjamin Disraeli
When "bad things" happen how do you react? First of all I guess we would have to determine what your definition of "bad things" would be. Typically a bad thing is anything that upsets you or rocks your world in some negative way. The more formal word would be "adversity" which is defined as any difficulty or misfortune.
And bad things come in all shapes and sizes. Anywhere from spilt milk, losing something you value, traffic jams, someone criticizing you or being rude to you; all the way to the big "bad things" such as losing your job, your home or someone you love.
Now the thing is that these so called "bad things happen to all of us at one time or another, there is simply no way around it. So, does knowing this make it easier to deal with them? It should, but that isn't always the case because we are too caught up in the moment and we lose the big picture.
But let's look back at some of the "bad things" that have happened in your life. Try and recall how upset you were at the time. Go back there for a minute, think about how angry you were at someone for what they did or said to you or the hurt you felt by someone who betrayed you.
Think about how devastated you were when a relationship ended or how you felt when going through your divorce. Think about the fear that gripped you when you lost your job or think about how mad you were in that traffic jam at some unknown person, etc.
Now let's fast forward to the present day. Are you still gripped by these feelings or negative emotions? Or, have they subsided if not, more likely, are they gone? Are you still mad at the person in the traffic jam? Are you still mad because of the spilt milk? Do you still feel the intensity of how you felt when betrayed? Do you still wake up every day and cry over your divorce?
Or, have you moved on?
So, why not take these experiences and learn the lessons from them? Why not look at life through the bigger picture? Is it really worth getting upset when you're stuck in traffic or you broke a glass or you lost a watch? What is the point? And, better yet what good does it do you?
And it's the same when the BIG "bad things" happen to you. Depending on the circumstances, of course you will have a gamut of emotions and initial reactions of hurt, fear, worry, regret or pain. But, looking back now you found a way to deal with it didn't you? And some way, somehow, you moved on.
So take these experiences into your present day life and implement the lessons you learned because otherwise you went through it for nothing. And, worse yet you will continue to hold onto all of the negative crap that goes along with holding on to stuff instead of letting it go.
Since the reality is that you are eventually going to let it go anyway, why not let it go sooner rather than later?
The worst possible thing you can do is become a victim because of it. Stop asking, "Why did this happen to me?" Instead ask yourself, "How can I move on from here?" You can go around blaming them or blaming yourself but that is a total waste of time. Beside the fact that it keeps you focused on the negative which does you more harm than good.
And, stop being mad or angry or worried or scared or hurt or jealous or vindictive. Ask yourself, "How do these feelings make my life better? And then ask, "How do they make my life worse? And how long do you want to hold onto them?
Because the bottom line is this: You CHOOSE how you are going to react to everything that happens to you. And more importantly, you can choose to let it go much sooner than most people do.
Try and grasp this statement: It doesn't happen to you as much as it happens for you!
When you really begin to get the bigger picture you will understand that when "bad things" they don't last forever; unless you invite them to. You will understand that when you attach yourself to a specific outcome and it isn't what happens is when you suffer.
And most of all you will understand that "bad things" happen to everyone along their journey through life and it is through these changes and how we react to them that determine how we live.
Your peace and happiness depends on how you choose to look at things. So, why not choose to hold on to the good things in your life and let go of the "bad things!"
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